Comments for Jaym Gates http://jaymgates.com Publicity and Editing Thu, 21 Mar 2013 08:30:36 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 Comment on About by Jaym Gates http://jaymgates.com/about-jaym/#comment-1905 Jaym Gates Thu, 21 Mar 2013 08:30:36 +0000 http://jaymgates.com/?page_id=11#comment-1905 Hi Kathryn, Please feel free to email me at jaymgatespr(at)gmail(dot)com. Thanks! Hi Kathryn,

Please feel free to email me at jaymgatespr(at)gmail(dot)com. Thanks!

]]> Comment on About by Geoffrey Girard http://jaymgates.com/about-jaym/#comment-1862 Geoffrey Girard Mon, 04 Mar 2013 01:39:15 +0000 http://jaymgates.com/?page_id=11#comment-1862 Hello Jaym, I have a book coming out in September and want to start putting together some online marketing: blog tours, goodreads efforts, etc. My writer pals (I swim in the Apex pond) say you're "the best" -- so, at your convenience please shoot me an email so we can arrange that first consultation. Thanks much! Hello Jaym, I have a book coming out in September and want to start putting together some online marketing: blog tours, goodreads efforts, etc. My writer pals (I swim in the Apex pond) say you’re “the best” — so, at your convenience please shoot me an email so we can arrange that first consultation. Thanks much!

]]> Comment on About by Kathryn http://jaymgates.com/about-jaym/#comment-1794 Kathryn Sun, 27 Jan 2013 22:02:55 +0000 http://jaymgates.com/?page_id=11#comment-1794 Jaym, I found my way to this website starting by looking up Bitch Magazine. The store I work for (www.selfservetoys.com) is looking for people who blog about feminist, social issues who might be interested in seeing some of the stuff we're doing, in case they feel like writing about it. Would you be such a person? If so, what is a better way to send you information? Many thanks, Kathryn Smith Jaym, I found my way to this website starting by looking up Bitch Magazine. The store I work for (www.selfservetoys.com) is looking for people who blog about feminist, social issues who might be interested in seeing some of the stuff we’re doing, in case they feel like writing about it. Would you be such a person? If so, what is a better way to send you information?

Many thanks,
Kathryn Smith

]]> Comment on No Tolerance Doesn’t Always Mean NO Tolerance by valerie bedard http://jaymgates.com/harassment/no-tolerance-doesnt-always-mean-no-tolerance/#comment-1465 valerie bedard Tue, 07 Aug 2012 14:29:58 +0000 http://jaymgates.com/?p=81#comment-1465 Hello Jaym, I was at Readercon but didn't see the interactions we are talking about, so I definitely respect your point of view. I have been to cons for more than 30 years, so I know how male fans can sometimes be. This is a different culture than books fairs, which we attend too because my husband is an author and a scenarist. The two cultures have differents rules and codes. The behavior acceptable in a mainstream con is a world away from what is going on in the "Salon du Livre" we have in major cities in Québec. Readercon is an hybrid of the two types of events. I would never dream of acting in book fairs and salons the way I do in regular cons, where I can be very familiar, enthousiast, sometimes a little bit crazy and flirty. As for being followed around, I stopped giving a damn about that a long time ago. Since as a hobby I'm a horse breeder and cowgirl, I have to deal with the Québec cowboy crowd where quick answers and verbal self-defense is a must. However, I have been victim of threats and harassments in 1996 from a patient while I was practicing in Québec North. I had to ask the police's help and a protection dog from their kennels. I had to carry this german shepperd aptly named Psycho when working late at the hospital. In Boréal 2010, I had to put myself between a three hundreds pounds sociopath and his ex- girlfriend because the guy was getting physically and verbally abusive. I knew the guy from college. He was a creep who would stalk female authors and fans; he would throw himself on his knees begging and crying for sexual attention ( yep, and he did that to me too). In 2010, though, it turned really ugly. I managed to block a first punch but thank God for my good friends Mario and Caroline-Isabelle who got me out of this before I received a punch in the face. Since these are my personal experiences with harassment and stalking, what happened to Mrs Valentine, however inapropriate and disagreable,looks to me like something that could have easily have been resolved by basic verbal self-defense ( a yell can do wonders!); or with a word with someone in charge at the con. Unless there are serious things I'm unaware of, Mrs Valentine complaints still remains greatly exagerated in my opinion. That beeing said, denouncing harassers and stalkers is a necessity and I congratulate you for doing so. I just don't see a case here. have a good day, Valérie bédard Hello Jaym,
I was at Readercon but didn’t see the interactions we are talking about, so I definitely respect your point of view.
I have been to cons for more than 30 years, so I know how male fans can sometimes be.
This is a different culture than books fairs, which we attend too because my husband is an author and a scenarist. The two cultures have differents rules and codes. The behavior acceptable in a mainstream con is a world away from what is going on in the “Salon du Livre” we have in major cities in Québec. Readercon is an hybrid of the two types of events. I would never dream of acting in book fairs and salons the way I do in regular cons, where I can be very familiar, enthousiast, sometimes a little bit crazy and flirty.
As for being followed around, I stopped giving a damn about that a long time ago. Since as a hobby I’m a horse breeder and cowgirl, I have to deal with the Québec cowboy crowd where quick answers and verbal self-defense is a must.
However, I have been victim of threats and harassments in 1996 from a patient while I was practicing in Québec North. I had to ask the police’s help and a protection dog from their kennels. I had to carry this german shepperd aptly named Psycho when working late at the hospital.
In Boréal 2010, I had to put myself between a three hundreds pounds sociopath and his ex- girlfriend because the guy was getting physically and verbally abusive. I knew the guy from college. He was a creep who would stalk female authors and fans; he would throw himself on his knees begging and crying for sexual attention ( yep, and he did that to me too).
In 2010, though, it turned really ugly. I managed to block a first punch but thank God for my good friends Mario and Caroline-Isabelle who got me out of this before I received a punch in the face.
Since these are my personal experiences with harassment and stalking, what happened to Mrs Valentine, however inapropriate and disagreable,looks to me like something that could have easily have been resolved by basic verbal self-defense ( a yell can do wonders!); or with a word with someone in charge at the con. Unless there are serious things I’m unaware of, Mrs Valentine complaints still remains greatly exagerated in my opinion.
That beeing said, denouncing harassers and stalkers is a necessity and I congratulate you for doing so. I just don’t see a case here.
have a good day,
Valérie bédard

]]> Comment on No Tolerance Doesn’t Always Mean NO Tolerance by Jaym Gates http://jaymgates.com/harassment/no-tolerance-doesnt-always-mean-no-tolerance/#comment-1464 Jaym Gates Tue, 07 Aug 2012 10:47:56 +0000 http://jaymgates.com/?p=81#comment-1464 Hi Valerie, Thanks for the comment and perspective. I just want to say that I was in the vicinity at the time of some of Genevieve's issues, and it wasn't just 'too familiar'. That, plus other issues brought forward raised a response that I feel comfortable supporting. I agree that witch hunts are horrible, and harm women AND men. But I have been subjected to things that other people have brushed off as 'just that person's way of showing affection', and...well, the discomfort pushed me out of certain circles and conventions, eventually. But, I have no desire to debate the right or wrong of this, as we do come at it from different angles. Ultimately, it is up to the victims, the perpetrator and the concom to choose their responses, and up to the rest of us to make the most informed choice based on the evidence that we can. Best, Jaym Hi Valerie,

Thanks for the comment and perspective. I just want to say that I was in the vicinity at the time of some of Genevieve’s issues, and it wasn’t just ‘too familiar’. That, plus other issues brought forward raised a response that I feel comfortable supporting.

I agree that witch hunts are horrible, and harm women AND men. But I have been subjected to things that other people have brushed off as ‘just that person’s way of showing affection’, and…well, the discomfort pushed me out of certain circles and conventions, eventually.

But, I have no desire to debate the right or wrong of this, as we do come at it from different angles. Ultimately, it is up to the victims, the perpetrator and the concom to choose their responses, and up to the rest of us to make the most informed choice based on the evidence that we can.

Best,

Jaym

]]> Comment on No Tolerance Doesn’t Always Mean NO Tolerance by valerie bedard http://jaymgates.com/harassment/no-tolerance-doesnt-always-mean-no-tolerance/#comment-1461 valerie bedard Mon, 06 Aug 2012 21:50:15 +0000 http://jaymgates.com/?p=81#comment-1461 I was for 8 years a medical expert witness for children and women victims of sexual abuse. I am a convinced and active feminist for years. I read Mrs Valentine's own account of the incident at Readercon.. I understand that Mr Walling has been annoying, too familiar for an american woman ( in Québec, touching people and being familiar is socially acceptable, even if you have just met them) and that his ill-advised attempts to apologize did not helped his cause. But filling an harrassment complaint for that is a gross exageration, and as far as I am concerned, an insult to the harassment and sexual violence victims of this world. I hope Mrs Valentine never gets to meet a real perpetrator of sexual violence( I helped sent some in jail, that of which I'm very proud)), The witch hunt going on is a shame and a nuisance for the feminist cause. Mr Walling has been going to the same cons as the rest of Québec and the rest of Canada's fandom; the rumors that "he is a known stalker of women" is ridiculous. He is a con organisator and a Montrealer, which means, he talks to people, he is friendly to them, he touches people ( so do I, by the way, since I am known as "Aunt Valérie" by old and younger fans. René Walling follows often people around, it's his job, for Heaven's sake! The whole thing appears to me as pushing the fire alarm because someone is smoking ( which is bad and illegal, I admit, but still,you get the picture). By the way, your account of what happened at the world fantasy con: that is awful and should have meant banishment from cons for the guy; drunk or not! How often have I heard this argument... In my career I have seen terrible things done to women and children. But I also saw three cases of exagerated or false complaints that did very ugly damage too. I feel outraged and sad to see this misuse of rules. This will do harm to all women. Have a good day. Valérie bedard, MD Book critic Winner of the 2012 Aurora-Boreal best artistic realisation And SF-convention fan since 1980 I was for 8 years a medical expert witness for children and women victims of sexual abuse. I am a convinced and active feminist for years. I read Mrs Valentine’s own account of the incident at Readercon.. I understand that Mr Walling has been annoying, too familiar for an american woman ( in Québec, touching people and being familiar is socially acceptable, even if you have just met them) and that his ill-advised attempts to apologize did not helped his cause. But filling an harrassment complaint for that is a gross exageration, and as far as I am concerned, an insult to the harassment and sexual violence victims of this world. I hope Mrs Valentine never gets to meet a real perpetrator of sexual violence( I helped sent some in jail, that of which I’m very proud)),
The witch hunt going on is a shame and a nuisance for the feminist cause. Mr Walling has been going to the same cons as the rest of Québec and the rest of Canada’s fandom; the rumors that “he is a known stalker of women” is ridiculous. He is a con organisator and a Montrealer, which means, he talks to people, he is friendly to them, he touches people ( so do I, by the way, since I am known as “Aunt Valérie” by old and younger fans. René Walling follows often people around, it’s his job, for Heaven’s sake!
The whole thing appears to me as pushing the fire alarm because someone is smoking ( which is bad and illegal, I admit, but still,you get the picture).
By the way, your account of what happened at the world fantasy con: that is awful and should have meant banishment from cons for the guy; drunk or not! How often have I heard this argument…
In my career I have seen terrible things done to women and children. But I also saw three cases of exagerated or false complaints that did very ugly damage too. I feel outraged and sad to see this misuse of rules. This will do harm to all women.
Have a good day.
Valérie bedard, MD
Book critic
Winner of the 2012 Aurora-Boreal best artistic realisation
And SF-convention fan since 1980

]]> Comment on Guest-Post: I Am One In More Than 2.7 Million by James Aquilone http://jaymgates.com/misc/guest-post-i-am-one-in-more-than-2-7-million/#comment-748 James Aquilone Thu, 31 May 2012 13:30:10 +0000 http://jaymgates.com/?p=69#comment-748 Check out Caitlin Kiernan's "The Drowning Girl." The main character has schizophrenia and the story of her struggle with it is very moving and poignant. She's a very real person. I think in this case the writer got it right. Check out Caitlin Kiernan’s “The Drowning Girl.” The main character has schizophrenia and the story of her struggle with it is very moving and poignant. She’s a very real person. I think in this case the writer got it right.

]]> Comment on Guest-Post: I Am One In More Than 2.7 Million by Kaolin Fire http://jaymgates.com/misc/guest-post-i-am-one-in-more-than-2-7-million/#comment-744 Kaolin Fire Thu, 31 May 2012 05:53:50 +0000 http://jaymgates.com/?p=69#comment-744 Thank you. :) Thank you. :)

]]> Comment on Guest-Post: I Am One In More Than 2.7 Million by Jaym Gates http://jaymgates.com/misc/guest-post-i-am-one-in-more-than-2-7-million/#comment-743 Jaym Gates Thu, 31 May 2012 05:40:39 +0000 http://jaymgates.com/?p=69#comment-743 My grandmother worked in county mental health for a while, and because she was my caretaker, I often spent time there as well. Probably not the most balanced upbringing for a child, but it laid the foundation for many years of working in fringe communities. More recently, I've become the sounding board for some of my good friends with PTSD, and worked with autistic kids. So these subjects are all near and dear to my heart. And, as the author here says, the portrayal of mental illness in fiction is light years behind where it should be. My grandmother worked in county mental health for a while, and because she was my caretaker, I often spent time there as well. Probably not the most balanced upbringing for a child, but it laid the foundation for many years of working in fringe communities.

More recently, I’ve become the sounding board for some of my good friends with PTSD, and worked with autistic kids. So these subjects are all near and dear to my heart. And, as the author here says, the portrayal of mental illness in fiction is light years behind where it should be.

]]> Comment on Guest-Post: I Am One In More Than 2.7 Million by ABlackLaceRose http://jaymgates.com/misc/guest-post-i-am-one-in-more-than-2-7-million/#comment-741 ABlackLaceRose Thu, 31 May 2012 03:19:19 +0000 http://jaymgates.com/?p=69#comment-741 I absolutely love that you posted this!!! Especially since I am Bipolar (my biological mother was Schizoeffective) and terms get thrown around so casually by people who have NO IDEA what they actually mean, much less for them to be appropriate for what they are actually trying to say. PS Hey writers, don't say "they were diagnosed with manic-depression AND bipolar" hello, Bipolar is the NEW name for Manic-Depression, same goes for multiple-personality-disorder/dissociative identity disorder, SAME thing, and psychopath/sociopath/antisocial personality disorder, ALSO all the same thing. Use whatever term was in effect for the period in which you are writing (you wouldn't call it bipolar in the 50's would you?) I absolutely love that you posted this!!! Especially since I am Bipolar (my biological mother was Schizoeffective) and terms get thrown around so casually by people who have NO IDEA what they actually mean, much less for them to be appropriate for what they are actually trying to say.

PS Hey writers, don’t say “they were diagnosed with manic-depression AND bipolar” hello, Bipolar is the NEW name for Manic-Depression, same goes for multiple-personality-disorder/dissociative identity disorder, SAME thing, and psychopath/sociopath/antisocial personality disorder, ALSO all the same thing. Use whatever term was in effect for the period in which you are writing (you wouldn’t call it bipolar in the 50′s would you?)

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